Northwestern’s Half-Baked Attempt at Connection: A Ham-Handed, Handwritten Thank-You Note

Earlier this month, I received a hand-written thank you note in the mail from an undergraduate at Northwestern University, my alma mater.

That was impressive.


The personally written, but hardly personalized letter from
a Northwestern undergraduate.

 Then I read the note – and if it wasn’t a verbatim transcription of a form letter, then I worry for the future of this self-described English major.

How utterly unimpressive.

Why bother with a form of intimate, personal connection when you saddle it with an impersonal form letter? Why go through the motions of making an emotional connection when you handcuff a student to so much sanitized white noise?

C’mon Wildcats: unleash these young adults to communicate from the heart! Or at least save yourself the postage.

Overcome Weakness in Your LinkedIn Chain: Invest in Relationships When You Don't `Need To'

As the saying goes, "You're only as strong as the weakest link in your chain."

And when it comes to LinkedIn, the formula that some follow goes like this:

1. Accumulate as many contacts as possible by sending an impersonal, automated request to Link-In.

2. Proceed to ignore aforementioned contacts for weeks, months or even years. (If you're especially ambitious, write one or two recommendations.)

3. If and when you lose a job, or have a decline in business, send impersonal, mass notes to LinkedIn contacts announcing that you'd appreciate their steering leads your way.

4. When you come up dry on Step 3, complain that LinkedIn is useless.

Referring back to the introductory line--and boiling down these four steps in one word: weak.

If you've read any of my prior social media tips and observations, you know that Inside Edge PR has derived significant benefit from LinkedIn and other social media: new clients, stronger relationships, media coverage, and the development of social-media workshops that have led to more work.

And here's the biggest reason why: I've sought to help as many of my links as possible...without seeking anything in return.

That's not bragging, and that's not charity--it's straight-up common sense about human nature. Think of it this way: when is the best time to buy a car or sell a house?

When you don't need to.

That way, you're not desperate or otherwise painted into a corner. You can take the deal or leave it.

The same principle goes for LinkedIn, Facebook or any other personal or professional transaction, online or offline--the best time to nurture a relationship is when you don't "need to."

The truth be told, if you don't want to do this, for the sheer enjoyment of maintaining and strengthening connections with other human beings, you ought to consult the closest mirror.

Even failing that basic test, you should consider exercising some self-discipline, consistency and long-term thinking. Drop a note to five or 10 people at a time, simply saying "hello" or offering some words of encouragement or insight that will benefit them.

In "The Professional's Platform," one of Seth Godin's recent blog posts, he eloquently makes much the same point. An excerpt:

"We remember what you did when you didn't need us so urgently...It means investing, perhaps overinvesting, in relationships long before it's in your interest to do so."

Humor + Humanity in Communication Paves The Way to a Great First Impression

I really am trying to write shorter blog posts--I preach it all the time and you are more likely to read this entire ditty if I stopped right after this sentence.

But I promise this one is worth the extra effort you'll require to dig in here. In fact, extra effort--just a modest amount, mind you--is at the heart of this missive.

Think about your day-to-day journey. You know, the one that can often be filled with so much drudgery and sameness? Honestly, don't you crave a little humanity--and more than a little humor--to come across your path as often as possible?

What if you were to offer those precious commodities, especially at unexpected moments and in unexpected places, to those whose path you cross?

Folks would rave about you. You'd generate the right kind of buzz. And, according to a recent survey, you would be 87 percent more likely to become a millionaire.

OK, so I made up that last one. Just trying to practice what I'm preaching and inject some humor into your life.

These ruminations flow after a decidedly pleasant encounter I had today with the Terms of Service for a new outfit called Patch.com. Yes, you read that right: terms of service--that dry legalese that hardly anyone ever even looks at, let alone reads (at least, that's how I operate).


For months, I've been hearing rumblings of Patch and noticing veteran journalists, including at least one former editor of mine, have jumped aboard with the company.

But it was only today that I dug a little deeper. (Here's the link for the Oak Park, Illinois patch, if this is all news to you.)

Because I plan to post stories and other content on behalf of various Inside Edge PR clients in the future, I decided that I really ought to click on the link for Patch's terms of service.

I was treated to a living, breathing narrative that communicated all the required points (read: legalese), but it did so in a way that was a downright delight.

Some excerpts:

"We ask that you read these Terms of Use carefully before registering or using the Service. If you do not accept these Terms of Use, we promise not to get mad. But in that case, you may not use the Service."

"You are responsible for the security of your password and will be solely liable for any use or unauthorized use under such password. Therefore, if you share a computer with others, don’t allow your Internet browser to automatically save your password. Also, don’t write your password on a Post-It note and leave it on your desk for all to see."

Later, after spelling out some of the no-nos that will get your butt kicked off of Patch, there was this simple summation:

Instead of trying to memorize all that, you might boil it down to three main policies: “Keep it clean,” “Don’t try to trick people,” and “Treat others as you’d like to be treated.” Easy, right?"

By the end of it all (and by now you shouldn't be shocked to learn that I read to the end), my regard for the company had skyrocketed. Bear in mind, I know little more than what I've already described, and this halo effect has already taken root.

How would you like your customers, clients, audience base, fans, whomever, to begin with that kind of overwhelmingly positive impression?

That's the power of effective--human, humorous, real--communication.

So what are you doing--in your e-mails, in your voicemails, in any interaction that you're having with others--to do that little something to bring a smile to someone's face?

Do people dread or look forward to hearing, or reading, from you again? The answer lies at least partly in whether you take the extra effort that, in Patch.com's case, inspired me to give them this rousing shout-out.

Some Recent `Tips of the Inside Edge'

Since early February, I have been posting a daily "Tip of the Inside Edge" at the Inside Edge PR Fan Page on Facebook.

(To visit the page, type "Inside Edge PR" in the Facebook search box.)

Here is the collection of tips from the past week:

Pick up the darn phone once in awhile. E-mail is a great complementary avenue, but there's nothing like actually speaking with another human being to build stronger connection and understanding.

Show, Don't Just Tell. In any endeavor, when meeting with prospective clients, find ways to show your value--and not merely talk about it.

The quality and quantity of follow-up questions help set apart outstanding connectors from ineffective or even average connectors.

When you hear "show up early, stay late" is the key to success, it might seem like a ton of extraordinary effort. Often, though, it just means five minutes on either side.

Write a sincere hand-written thank you note some time before you die. It'll shock the recipient. And leave a positive impression.

For other suggestions, visit my Recommended Links page at InsideEdgePR.com.

A No-Brainer on How To Insult Your Audience

One of the most dangerous phrases anyone can use is this one: "It's a no-brainer."

Three years ago, a radio ad saleswoman uttered it as she sought, in vain, to convince me to advise a client to shell out thousands of dollars for a promotional spot.

Immediately, the likelihood of my doing business with this individual went from slim to none. When someone refers to something as a "no-brainer," they are being insulting and insensitively coercive. In esssence, here is what they are communicating: "If you don't agree with me, then that means you have no brain."

How's that for undermining any chance of a mutually respectful and symbiotic relationship?

Peter Shankman, a bright and personable PR guy whom I respect, pulled the no-brainer device today. In a message to his thousands of subscribers on Help A Reporter Out. Shankman began, "This advertiser is the biggest no-brainer in the history of Earth."

Not only is it a no-brainer, but it's the no-brainer that trumps all others. That's certainly upping the ante, Peter.

Respect: It's About (Valuing Others') Time

It's been a while since I referred to something written by author-entrepreneur-marketing guru Seth Godin.

Well, today it's about time.

Specifically, about respecting others' time. With all of the communication tools at our disposal, there is little excuse for failing to alert someone when you are running late, or when you need to re-schedule, or otherwise convey that plans have changed.

A relevant excerpt from the Principles & Procedures manual that I provide to subcontractors before they begin working for Inside Edge PR:

“Over-Communicate”

Between two emails that are redundant and none at all, I’ll take the two redundant ones any day. Err on the side of over-communication. That means: keep in close touch with me, especially because we are typically working in our separate silos somewhere in the universe.

If you are going to be out of touch for a half-hour because something just came up, shoot me an email. If you think I may have overlooked an email you sent, call me.